Watch Out Students!! Tenure Has Arrived

I was notified last Wednesday that USC has finally granted me tenure! Watch out!! You can't get rid of me now.

Actually, someone told me at a Faculty meeting last year that there are two reasons why a tenured faculty member can get fired. One is if I get caught sleeping with a student. That's a big no no. The other, and this one blows my mind, is if I don't teach any of my classes for a year. For a year!!!

Does this mean that missing 11 months worth of classes is okay?

Well... now that I've got tenure, maybe I'll give a test and find out.

(No way. I'm too much of an A-type personality for THAT.)