It's All Over For Post Secret

The web site POST SECRET, which I've had in my link list over there on the left of this there page, was featured in an article in the New York Times today.

Oh well, it's officially all over.  They’ve been discovered.  Within months they’ll sell the site for 65 million dollars to some Silicon Valley Venture Capitalists.

Top Ten Movies -- Again

So STAR WARS kicked butt again at the box office this long weekend.

Has anyone NOT seen that film yet?

1. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (Saw it. Liked it. See below)
2. Madagascar (Haven't seen it. I doubt I ever will.)
3. The Longest Yard (Haven't seen it. I know I never will.)
4. Monster-in-Law (Don't even speak of this film to me.)
5. Kicking and Screaming (I know it's supposed to be good. Catch me another week.)
6. Crash (Still haven't seen it. My bad.)
7. The Interpreter (ARGHHHHHHHHH!)
8. Unleashed (Uh, don't think so.)
9. Kingdom of Heaven (Don't even talk about this to me.)
10. House of Wax (Wow! You mean Elisha Cuthbert AND Paris Hilton all in one movie!?!?! Uh... NO.)

Must... Blow... Myself... Up

Did American ritual of Memorial Day barbecue.

Cooked much meat and veggie burgers.

Ate much meat.

Drank much beer and wine.

Must... blow... myself... up... right... now.

Another List of Top Films

Lawrence Walker, who publishes the blog "A Better Nation" has posted his own list of his favorite films, commenting on the same Time Magazine top 100 list that I commented on last week.

This list is almost exclusively of Hollywood movies and includes films like FANTASIA, as well as SINGIN IN THE RAIN and THE GODFATHER(S).

The Dumbest Drivers Are...

Whenever I drive or visit Boston I end up wanting to scream at the drivers, who don't seem to know any of he rules of the rolad. Now, a survey by GMAC Insurance company, tells me that New England drivers are the worst in the country. Rhode Island drivers are, by far, the dumbest, followed closely by Massachusetts (yeah, Boston) and Joisey.

Sometimes, prejudices are correct, eh?

But don't jump up and down so much, oh ye people of the Car Culture. California was number 43, as reported in the list of all states here.
I apologize for the popup ads which come along with these links.
Damn you Time Inc!!

Brando Day 2

And GODFATHER wasn't bad either. Awe-damn-some, in fact. Everyone at the top of their game.

See this one on the big screen too.

Apocalypse Right NOW

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Francis Coppola rocks my world. I've worked with him a few times and have always been impressed by his Big Picture thinking and his artistry, even if the film isn't always the best.

Last night I saw APOCALYPSE NOW; REDUX at the Cinematheque and it's an incredible work at the same time that it fails.

First, this is truly a deep movie. Deep in the sense that there is plenty of room for discussion afterwards and plenty of psychological travel that the Willard character and the audience must go through in order to reach the amazing conclusion.

Next, this is a flawed film, even more so in the REDUX version than in the original version which I saw at the Ziegfeld in New York when it first came out (as well as the Dome at here). It is a road movie of epic proportions and, like most road movies, is incredibly episodic. In the original version this aspect of it was glossed over by a shorter running time. Now, with nearly 50 minutes added, bloating its running time to 3 hours and 22 minutes, you get to see the seams. Some of the new scenes are helpful but there are two that create more of an episodic feel than the film can handle, even if they do add some character and background.

In one, two of the Playboy bunnies who we've seen run away from a concert gone crazy (like everything else in the war) are found stranded in a muddy encampment, nearly out of their minds. Both of them submit to the sexual advances of our men while clearly being miles away in their own heads. Ignoring the conundrum of why a completely driven and obsessed Willard would even allow for a lengthy stop on his quest (not to mention, giving up two containers of boat fuel), the scene makes a small point at great length.

The other added scene is a lengthy sequence on a French plantation in which a family of industrialists argues about their future in front of Willard. One, a beautiful widow who eventually takes him to bed, uses the scene to tell Willard the relatively important but obvious fact that he has two sides to him -- a peaceful, loving side, and a warrior side. Once again, it is a point that is, while not as obvious as the Playmate one, takes way too long for its payoff.

Still, the film is a masterpiece of character study, both for Marlon Brando's Kurtz and Martin Sheen's Willard, as well as the keenly observed crew on the boat that takes Willard up the river to the Heart of Darkness.

If you can see this film on the big screen -- DO IT!!

Which City Do YOU Want To Live In?

Another stupid web quiz. This one asks you a bunch of questions about the things that you like to live amongst, and determines what city suits you best. My results are not completely surprising -- New York, Chicago and LA are all great cities with varying degress of spontaneous life. But Honolulu? What's up with that? In any case, here are the results:

American Cities That Best Fit You:

60%     New York City

55%     Chicago

50%     Honolulu

50%     Los Angeles

45%     Atlanta

If you want to take this quiz give this URL a spin.

Why Aren't People Going to The Movies?

There's an article in the New York Times today about the decline in movie attendance. It seems that, over the last 13 weeks, attendance is down compared to the same 13 weeks last year. Not even STAR WARS 3 could turn that trend around and I'm willing to bet that MADAGASCAR and THE LONGEST YARD don't really turn that trend around.

There's lots of talk in the article about how cable, DVDs and video games are pulling audiences away from the movie theatres, along with high prices of tickets, parking and babysitters. The best comment, however, comes from Amy Pascal, identified as the "chairwoman" of Sony Pictures. She says:

"We can give ourselves every excuse for people not showing up - change in population, the demographic, sequels, this and that - but people just want good movies."

It's real easy to dump on Hollywood, for lack of imagination and a plethora of sequels.

Easy, but true.

However, it remains to be seen if the lemming-like, moronic movie-going American public is willing to put their increasingly meager disposable income into better movies. I don't see it.

Film Blast From The Not-Too-Distant Past

Cory reminded me, in his comments today, of some of the work that many of us did in our Intermediate Editing class and some of the footage that we all worked on (Okay, okay, I'll be honest -- some of the footage that you all worked on).

=================

I was reading IMDB news this morning (okay, the gossipy celebrity part) when i was reminded of a great film from editing class, the immortal TOO YOUNG TO DIE or as Norm often put it, TOO YOUNG TO DIE?

The answer after three semesters is, "No, no not really."

That poor chubby guy from LA LAW. He was really trying very hard with his bad accent and little bow tie. Still we all mercilessly cut that one line (You sure do look pretty in that dress...) to make him look like the creepy biycle shop owner from that very special episode of DIFFERENT STROKES (Dudley! Don't take off your shirt!)

Other immortal lines from editing class:

NYPD BLUE:
- What are you? Circus cop?
- Yeah, yeah that's me, flying James Martinez!
JUST LOOKING:
- He's a flaming asshole!
CRIMSON TIDE:
- Zero bubble, mark your depth.
DALLAS:
- Jessie, you can come out now.
And, of course, Remy from YOUNG INDIANA JONES (as he hit a Nazi with a stick):
- No, we do not!

Worst sidekick ever. We did have a lot of fun though. The semester i was in that class was one of the best groups of people and the most fun classroom experience I had at SC. Marc, Amelia, Sara G., Tracee, Dzuban, Ron, John Paul, Liz, Jeremy and Heather, looking back, it really was a talented group.

============

By the way, this happens on almost every film I've ever worked on. One or two lines (or character reactions) gets to attain mythic status in the editing room and is endlessly quoted or mimicked.

Coming Up This Weekend At The Aero

This Friday starts the Marlon Brando festival at the American Cinematheque in Santa Monica (on Montana Ave., between 14th and Euclid Streets).

Friday at 7:30 -- APOCALYPSE NOW: REDUX
Saturday at 7:30 -- THE GODFATHER (that's part one, for those of you waiting for a number)

The following Thursday and Friday are ON THE WATERFRONT and STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, respectively.

Support great cinema!!

Further Evidence Of How Far Out Of It I Am

As if anyone needed more evidence, let me mention here that I watched neither of the season finales that I was supposed to watch last night. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES came and went without a trace in my consciousness. GREY'S ANATOMY (I know I know, I'm really really supposed to watch and like it) also had a finale which managed to go completely over my head.

So, now, who are those young whippersnappers, Nirvana?

Oh, by the way, the new EELS album is really great. A bit too long (I like double albums as much as the next guy -- which isn't a lot most of the time) but full of what E has done great in the past.

Any Suggestions for London?

It looks like the family is going to head off to London the first week in July.

Do any of you have suggestions on good theatre and/or music and/or art to see while we're there. I know about the Tate and Tate Modern and that's already on the schedule (and they're FREEEEEEE!). But I'm looking for other cool things to do.

Time Magazine's Top 100 Movies of All Time (pun intended)

Time Magazine, that bastion of trenchant artistic criticism, has come up with a list of what two of their critics consider the all time 100 Movies. The list should actually be called the "all time 100 Movies released in the United States" since it is filled with films that were available for viewing in the United States. Films that never made it here are nowhere to be found, though (to its credit) there are a sizable number of foreign films on the list.

The list is liable to be at least as well-known for what is left off of it than what is on it. Sure, CITIZEN KANE is there but no APOCALYPSE NOW. BARRY LYNDON is there, but not CLOCKWORK ORANGE or PATHS OF GLORY. BLADE RUNNER but no BRAZIL. PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO but not ANNIE HALL. And, as expected, the list is heavily weighted towards films of the last 20-30 years.

Still, it's pretty impressive. AGUIRRE, WRATH OF GOD and the APU TRILOGY share the list with STAR WARS and RAGING BULL. CITIZEN KANE and CITY LIGHTS inhabit the same list as the original INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS. There's even the BBC series THE SINGING DETECTIVE (Dennis Potter's masterful trip through the mind).

No list of favorite films is going to have everything that each of us feel should be on it but it's a start. There's a movement afoot at USC to have incoming film students required to have viewed a number of specific works of moving images (that takes into account films, television, video games, commercials, and more). In terms of the first group of works, this isn't a bad list to start choosing from.

George Lucas Is (Still) A Very Rich Man

So, I just noticed that the new STAR WARS has made over $50 million in the first day!! (Lucas' personal thank you note is winging its way to Tamara and Allie right now).

At seven bucks a ticket (that's the national average, and makes those of us who live in NYC or LA incredibly envious and angry all at the same time) that 's over 7.1 million people. The city of New York isn't much more than that. Just think, nearly every man, woman and child in New York (and maybe some of the roaches that live there as well)!

Who's going to see it this weekend then?

Learning How to Lift

As a high class member of one of the film unions (Local 700, in my case), I get to send them lotsa money every quarter and learn the secret handshake. I can also, when I do enough union work, have access to one of the greatest health plans that George W. Bush still allows.

The unions also work with the producers to provide required services to their members and so I found myself driving around a 95 degree Glendale today, and pulling up outside a large hanger-like structure where I was going to take my required Safety Class. It seems that every member of every local that works in the film business has to, along with the rest of California companies of a certain size, learn how to work safely.

Now, actually, I think this is a very good thing. Working dangerously is a bad thing -- for us and for the people who we work with. So, I think these seminars should be required. I just wonder whether sitting and watching a videotape for 40 minutes is really going to help me.

[It should be noted that we picture editors only had to take the general safety. People who drive scissor lifts or do makeup or painting had to take a lot more. And let's add that to the list of reasons why picture editing is better than other jobs -- along with not having to be on set at 7am or earlier.]

The niftiest thing we learned, aside from the fact that we were getting paid $15/hour to attend the seminar, were a number of still photos of a guy lifting a box. Some of the pictures had big red X's across them to let us know that this was not the correct way to lift a box. A narrator's voice intoned the words that the PowerPoint slide (projected from a DVD, by the way) already had told us: "Bend from the waist, keep your back straight."

Here's the amazing thing about this. This video/DVD is being shown to every single person who works in the movie business and the best that they could come up with was a series of Power Point slides, some still pictures, and a droning narrator who repeated most of the words that were on the screen!!! You'd think that, whatever it cost them to put that together, they could have given it to any number of starving students or independent filmmakers and come up with something 50 times more interesting and a million times more cinematic.

Oh, the 26 question test at the end was a slam dunk.

The Word on STAR WARS from my daughter

"Too corny"

Well, yeah, but isn't that part of the point?

How Old Are You, Deep Inside?

If you want to know how old you really really are, deep inside, just click right here.

It's all about ten questions that you'll be able to suss out quite well.

Also, on the same site, is a Star Wars Name Generator in which I discovered that my Star Wars Name is: Norho Tunew

My Star Wars Title? Nylcho of Haras

Never mind.

Where Have All The Bumper Stickers Gone?

Stuck behind a massive Toyota Fucking Forerunner this morning on the Santa Monica Freeway (that's Santa Monica Expressway, to those of you back East, and "the 10" to those of you in LA), I noticed that it had three bumper stickers for an AM radio station plastered on its rear.

Then it occurred to me that I rarely see bumper stickers on cars or trucks anymore. When I was growing up everyone had some of them stuck on their car's butt-end. We had one for a while from Howe Caverns, a tourist attraction in New York, where families would safely wander through caves and learn that "stalactites" dropped down from the ceiling and "stalagmites" grew up from the ground.

Perhaps it's the rise of leased autos, or perhaps its the rise of advertising everywhere else in the entire world but a quick look around me on the freeway/expressway/parkway/10 turned up not one single other vehicle that had sullied its surface with a bumper sticker.

It's hard to know whether that's an improvement or not.

Guilt -- and the movies

This isn't going to be as deep as the title makes it seems but I have to admit that, humor aside, I'm not completely happy with my listing the movie top tens after each weekend like I did last night and last weekend.

First off, it's way too easy to get snotty about it. Usually I check out of the movie-going experience around this time of year (with one or two exceptions) anyway. The films that I like either don't come out in the summer or don't come out at all.

But my bigger objection is simply that it bugs me when twelve year olds discuss which movie was number one the past weekend. It frightens me when the box office of a movie is the determining factor of its success, rather than whether it was successful at what it said and did.

Now, a Vin Diesel movie (whether I like it or not) can be successful on those second set of terms. It wanted to be an E-ticket ride and, as dumb as it was, it may have succeeded on that level. [Note: This is just an illustrative example. I have no idea whether any Vin Diesel movie succeeds on any level.] But if a movie's sole reason for being, according to the audience, is whether it is successful at the box office, then it is doomed to failure.

And it worries me to live in a society that doesn't see that difference.

The Top Ten Movies of this Past Weekend

Weekend ending 05/15/2005
1. Monster-in-Law (Uh, looks terrible. I'll skip it.)
2. Kicking and Screaming (Uh, looks terrible. I'll skip it.)
3. Unleashed (Uh, looks terrible. I'll skip it.)
4. Kingdom of Heaven (Uh, looks terrible. I'll skip it.)
5. Crash (Damn, you mean I still haven't seen it?!?!?!)
6. House of Wax (Uh, looks terrible. I'll skip it.)
7. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (This one is my guilty pleasure for the month. Liked it a lot.)
8. The Interpreter (Uh, it was terrible. Too bad I didn't skip it.)
9. XXX: State of the Union (Uh, looks terrible. I'll skip it.)
10. Mindhunters (Uh, looks terrible. I'll skip it.)

One of The Funniest Commercials EVER

Try this one on for size. It's for Blaupunkt and it must be from Europe.

Notice the subtle use of music and images. Notice the integration of humor and sales. Notice how friggin' funny it is.

NOTE TO THE ATTORNEY GENERAL: I know that there is sexual imagery in this and that is a very very bad thing. I know it. It's just friggin' funny so get off my case!!

Lars von Trier talks about America

Lars von Trier's new film, MANDERLAY, is supposed to be pretty good according to indiewire, the always entertaining Internet news magazine for independent filmmakers. In this dispatch from the Cannes film festival, where MANDERLAY was showing, indiewire quotes a defiant von Trier as railing against political correctness which stifles political discourse. He then goes on to say:

With the knowledge that Lars von Trier has never been to America, journalists this morning asked the filmmaker to address his reasons for pursuing a trilogy of films set in the United States. "America is a big subject because such a big part of our lives have to do with America," he said, "I must say, I feel there could just as well be American military in Denmark. We are a nation under influence and under a very bad influence... because Mr. Bush is an asshole and doing very idiotic things." Continuing, he reflected on the U.S. dominacnce [sic] over other countries and culture. "America is sitting on our world, I am making films that have to do with America (because) 60% of my life is America. So I am in fact an American, but I can't go there to vote, I cant change anything. I am an American, so that is why I make films about America."

Wow, it doesn't get any better than that.

Now, I don't hold Dogme up as any great filmmaking philosophy, considering it more restrictive than helpful. I don't mind having guiding principles (I certainly hammer some of them hom in my classes) but it always struck me that the Dogme filmmakers were doing more publicity than self-critical thinking with Dogme. I really didn't like BREAKING THE WAVES and the pieces that I saw of DOGVILLE. As a result, have stayed away from the rest of the von Trier oeuvre. But you have to admit, that von Trier has the courage of his convictions. And that, in the long run, makes him a better filmmaker.

STAR WARS at USC

Alot of USC references in today's three posts. Sorry about that. They're really about more than that, though.

Had a great experience today -- USC showed the new STAR WARS film ahead of its Wednesday night midnight premiere (that's actually really really Thursday morning, for those of you keeping count) and brought editor Ben Burtt down to talk during the break between the two screenings. They asked me to moderate the Q&A and I must say that it was a ton of fun (for me, I can't guarantee how it was for the students, faculty and alumnae who got to see the film for free).

First of all -- the film.

I've always loved the first two or three STAR WARS films (kill me, okay? My wife always found my fondness for Lucas' STAR WARS over Spielberg's CLOSE ENCOUNTERS suspicious, though not enough to call off the wedding). I've also found the second, EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, to be my favorite of the bunch though there's nothing to compare with the first time you ever saw the Millenium Falcon warp into hyperspace. So, it will come as no surprise to you that:

1) I prefer the character and epic iconographic storyline more than the light saber fights and "car" chases.
2) I though the last two films sucked rotten eggs.

I'm happy to report that, despite a few moments when the dialogue creaks more than an old mansion in any cheesy horror movie, and a few others when the film veered towards video game (though never arriving there with quite the conviction that the first two embraced), this film moves more towards the earlier films than I had any right to expect. There's a real sense of mythic storytelling and, for anyone who's fallen in love with any of the first three films, the way in which this one moves inexorably towards the original first STAR WARS (renamed, confusingly, Episode 4) will bring a smile to your lips and applause to the theatre. In fact, when Darth Vader's mask slid over his head and the first wheezing breath rang out on the soundtrack, there was applause from the audience.

Part of the joy of this film, in fact, is seeing the series come full circle and, in this third episode, hook up with the world that we know of Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, R2D2, C3P0, and Obi-Wan Kenobi (there's even the gentle meshing of the Yoda character into the chronology). While it isn't necessary to know the earlier films in order to appreciate this one, I don't think you'd enjoy it as much. And though i can't imagine anyone who hasn't seen the initial trilogy being at all interested in this film, if you're one of those who'd like to prove me wrong, I'd heartily recommend taking a look at all three movies of the original trilogy before seeing this.

The screening, in Norris Theatre, was completely digital and it looked and sounded better than anything I've ever seen in that theatre.

As for the Q&A, I was a part of it and so can't really talk about it in any real way except to say that I learned quite a bit from Ben Burtt, who after doing sound, editing, writing, directing and even acting in all of the six STAR WARS films, is incredibly articulate about the process. One interesting note that he talked about -- he edits on an Avid, with a ProTools set up to his left and a workstation with Maya to do visual effects on his right. It's a combination of all of skills that are becoming increasingly necessary in this world of film editing nowadays.

Things Not To Do At Prom

First of all, you could always not go.

I think I went to my high school prom. I think. The embarrasing admission though is that I remember absolutely nothing about it. I don't think it was about drinking (since I didn't) or drugs (since I didn't either). I think it's about the era when Proms meant nothing, yearbooks were uncool, and doing anything that would smack of school spirit was waaaay uncool.

In any case, as a Rite of Passage for me, it totally blew chunks.

Flash forward about 500 years to my daughter's prom. It was last night and, as a rite symbolizing the movement out from parental control, it really doesn't work in a mystical fantastic way anymore. (Perhaps the need to break out is less now) This was really much more of big party, then a blazing stakeout for a future without parental oversight.

Still, for me -- as a parent -- let me tell you that it was the shits. There was Elizabeth and her friends (that's Elizabeth on the right in the photo, in the black outfit), some of whom we've known for over fourteen years. There was one boyfriend, and one brother who was going as a date because "it might be fun." The heart burst, let me tell you.

The report back later was that the prom was "weird" or "kinda boring" but the after party was fantastic. Back when I did it, after part was a ride on the Staten Island Ferry or hanging out at the beach. In both places it was too cold out to really do anything. Nowadays, afterparties are at hotels, where everyone chips in for a large room and then you hang out all night until you collapse at 5:30am, just in time to wake up for checkout at 11am or noon. Diaphragms distributed at the check-in.

No drugs allowed.

Yeah, I'm sure.

For the parents (for those of us who don't think this is a descent into personal hell for ourselves) it's really the acknowledgement that these kids are all too old for us to be constricting parents. They're all off to college in a few months and we won't be able to say dick about what they're doing. So, perhaps, the Prom is really a rite of passage for parents, more so than for students.

Somehow, it skipped a generation.

Someone Likes USC Student Films

Here's a blog entry from a dude who came to see what appears to be a screening of our 546 or 480 films and was blown away.

My favorite quote from him is:

Every single short that they showed was A+ material. I mean, I watch a lot of short films on IFC and iFilm and what not, and these fucking shorts blew them all outta the water. If you woulda put them on a DVD and told me they were professional short films, I would have belived every word you told me.

We often get so fixated on what is wrong with our films that we forget what is RIGHT with them. Just the other day (Thursday) we had a screening of our final project on the two semester Episodic Television class -- a three act dramatic television pilot. We'd all gotten so close to it and so concerned about its problems that it took an audience to let us find out just how good the project is.

And that is why I like to do previews of films I work on. You can take the focus groups after the previews, wrap them up and bury them six feet under. But the previews themselves -- really valuable at telling you what is really working and what really isn't

The Word From Cory

The most abominable movie ever: Monster-in-law.

As Cory says "Jane, you should have stayed away."

Watch Out Students!! Tenure Has Arrived

I was notified last Wednesday that USC has finally granted me tenure! Watch out!! You can't get rid of me now.

Actually, someone told me at a Faculty meeting last year that there are two reasons why a tenured faculty member can get fired. One is if I get caught sleeping with a student. That's a big no no. The other, and this one blows my mind, is if I don't teach any of my classes for a year. For a year!!!

Does this mean that missing 11 months worth of classes is okay?

Well... now that I've got tenure, maybe I'll give a test and find out.

(No way. I'm too much of an A-type personality for THAT.)

Top Ten Movies Of this Past Weekend

Weekend ending 05/08/2005
1. Kingdom of Heaven (yawn, I'm going to skip it)
2. House of Wax (Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert in danger?!? I'm going to skip it)
3. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
4. Crash (might be good but with all of the craziness right now, I'm probably going to skip it)
5. The Interpreter
6. XXX: State of the Union (Oh my God. I don't think so. I'm going to skip it.)
7. The Amityville Horror (Oh my God. I don't think so. I'm going to skip it.)
8. Sahara (Oh my God. I don't think so. I'm going to skip it.)
9. A Lot Like Love (Oh my God. I don't think so. I'm going to skip it.)
10. Fever Pitch (Oh my God. I don't think so. I'm going to skip it.)

Pardon me for caring/not caring, all at the same time.

Sorry to Burst Your (Packing) Bubble

For those of you who really and truly are without a means of taking out your aggressions, here's the link for you.

http://users.adelphia.net/%7Evenezian/bubblewrap1.swf

Lawrence Of Santa Monica

There are some movies that don't seem long, no matter how long they are.

The American Cinematheque opened, after months and months of speculation (followed by months and months of Santa Monica inspired crazy government regulations/obstructions, and followed by months and months of renovation) a branch a mere five blocks from my house in Santa Monica, at what used be called the Aero Theatre. Actually, it's still called the Aero Theatre on the marquee and in the Cinematheque's ads. It just shows much cooler films now.

[Unpaid plug. If you are a film student, film fan, or filmmaker and live on the west side of Los Angeles and don't march over to the Aero on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica and sign up for the American Cinematheque , then you are poseur who should be hung from the neck until dead.]

As I mentioned the other day, we all went to see Raging Bull there. It's fantastic to see films on a big screen, rather than on my dinky television.

[An aside here. The guy who cuts my hair told me on Saturday that he had just spent something like $25,000 putting in a fantastic HD wide screen, my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours, screening room in his house. He's got two young kids and doesn't get out much so this must make some sort of sense. As for me, it made me wonder if I'm paying too much to have my hair cut.

End of aside.]

Well, this afternoon/evening we caught one of their screenings of LAWRENCE OF ARABIA. It's the shortest four hour film I've ever seen. (Well, unless you count MEET JOE BLACK, which felt like four hours but was actually shorter. Me, I don't count that. In fact, I try to forget it entirely.)

The amazing thing about seeing this movie in 2005 is that it seems, aside from a decided lack of quick cutting, very contemporary. It's totally about character and story. It has amazing battle scenes and some of the best cinematography I've ever seen. There's the famous cut from Lawrence (Peter O'Toole) blowing out a match to the sun hanging over the desert, a cut which preceded the famous 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY cut from the flying bone to the spaceship by some six or seven years. There are some truly amazing shots of people appearing through the wavering heat of the desert. And, years before ILM perfected the art of tossing thousands of people up on screen, when the scenes were really shot with a dozen people, there are mammothly (is this a real word, or have I gone into Webster-Is-A-Crutch mode again?) populated. I kept thinking -- "every single one of those people was actually there on the set."

Now, that's a real Sensawonda.

But, at its core, the film is a great success because the characters are so interesting. Peter O'Toole's depiction of the rise and emotional fall of Lawrence, combined with Omar Sharif's Ali (who goes from skeptic to admirer and back to skeptic), make for some powerful storytelling.

One interesting observation (well, interesting to me anyways, you'll have to be the judge of that for yourself; I know you can do it.) is that there are virtually no live women in this movie. It's as if women did not exist in the Bedouin culture. What's up with that? How did all those little Bedouin's get there?

However, minor Politically Correct quibbles aside, this is a movie that makes me glad that I got into the film business in the first place.

Shivers from the Sixties

Actually, that title is misleading in all sort of ways, but it's going to make sense in a few minutes.

I spent some time talking about this with someone this afternoon. Someone once said that the best age in music is 15. By that, I assume he/she meant that the music that we end of loving for the rest of our lives is, basically, the music that we fell in love with when we were impressionable teens.

The age for falling in love with films may or may not be 15, but I certainly can tell you that not everyone well loved film stands the test of maturity.

When it first came out, I loved Dennis Hopper's THE LAST MOVIE. Here is the description of the film on IMdB.

Plot Summary for The Last Movie (1971)
A film shoot in Peru goes badly wrong when an actor is killed in a stunt, and the unit wrangler, Kansas, decides to give up film-making and stay on in the village, shacking up with local prostitute Maria. But his dreams of an unspoiled existence are interrupted when the local priest asks him to help stop the villagers killing each other by re-enacting scenes from the film for real because they don't understand movie fakery...

The style of the film (Hopper was fresh off his success d'estime of EASY RIDER and was apparently given carte blanche (wow, that's two French expressions in one sentence, how pretentious can I get?) to make this movie. And, boy, did he!!

His theory that people believe too much of what they see on screen made tons of sense to me. I was next deep in Artaud and Brecht at the time and I couldn't believe how well Hopper embodied Artaud's Theater of Cruelty concepts. He spliced Academy Leader, flash frames, run-outs, etc. within the context of the film. All of it said "Do not make the mistake of thinking that this is real life! This Is A Film Goddamit!" It was a fantastic film, stylistically and conceptually.

Until I saw it about 15 years later. When it was self-indulgent, pretentious, drivel, stylistically and conceptually.

Now, I'm fairly convinced that the film hadn't changed in that decade and a half. My guess is that it was ME who had changed. I remember desperately liking almost film that I didn't understand back when I was an undergrad. Bergman -- wow!! (By the way, I still feel that way, but that's off my main topic.) Godard, even better. UN CHIEN ANDALOU -- the best! And the fact the Bunuel was speaking in a language that I didn't quite grasp, didn't mean that I didn't feel that what he was saying spoke to me.

Most of those experiences, by the way, still move me (though not always in the same ways). But I've had a tough time with THE LAST MOVIE.

Anyone else had these kind of experiences? It's like Beer Eyes for Cinema.

Norman

Nouns and Verbs

According to an email I got today from a friend who lives back in Jersey (Joisey??) you can now add Swiffer, to the list of Products that can be used as verbs. LIke Google and Tivo before it, Swiffer (which, for those of you who don't know, is basically a dust mop made up of completely synthetic products) can now be used in sentences about things That People Do.

As in "My husband swiffers the floors every night before leaving work" or "She told them that she wasn't going to take the job if it consisted of too much Swiffering."

Teen Swim, FOX, and Me

And no, Cory, the mention of Fox isn't more proof of my new found arch conservatism. At least I hope not.

Under the urgings of my daughter, I've spent quite a bit of time in the last few weeks, going through old TIVOed (Tivo is now, officially, a verb, just like "Google"; you will be tested on its conjugation later) episodes of FAMILY GUY and AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE.

The latter has several advantages over the former -- for one thing, it's w-a-a-y shorter, each episode is like fifteen minutes long. They are also so arch that your mind just curls at the edges. It's hard to argue with a cartoon that features the adventures of a moronic meatball, an egghead container of fries, and a lecherous and lazy milkshake (not to mention a neighbor from hell and two-dimensional beings from outer space). For sheer nuttiness this cartoon has got to take the cake, or at least the fast foods.

FAMILY GUY, on the other hand, is flat out funny, along with being chock full of send ups of every sacred cow known to man (including, on this season's premiere, Mel Gibson and THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, which has a sequel in this world). This cartoon would be a sheer impossibility without its predecessors -- THE SIMPSONS and SOUTH PARK. Each of those pushed the boundaries of content a little further. And now we end up with a family with a two year old who walks around with a light bulb sticking out of his anus (that was put there by his absent-minded father, at the same time that he inserted a fresh diaper into a light socket).

Anybody else find these shows interesting? Funny? Or are they the mark of the devil?

24 and counting (down)

Guilty Pleasure Admission #2 (I promise that these will end sometime before they get too guilty or too pleasurable).
I like 24.

That's right, the Fox show with Kiefer Sutherland as a cel phone toting kick-ass anti-terrorist government man who Gets Things Done because he Doesn't Play By The Rules.

My friend, the composer Richard Einhorn has correctly pointed out that there is a very Cheney-esque streak of authoritarianism in the show, in which the only way to Get Things Done is to kick someone's ass and let the Bill of Rights be damned. I can't say that I disagree with that. The show certainly promotes the fact that it is only the strong who survive. It is more than fascistic in places, it is a combination of Darwin and Machiavelli.

So I'm not really down with the politics of the show.

But here's the guilty pleasure part -- I like the energy of the show, and a comparison to Sydney's Pollock THE INTERPRETER might clue you in as to why. Sure, there's a completely unreal sense to the plot -- everything happens in one day (in the first season Sutherland's character introduced the show every week by saying "This is the longest day of my life." I want to add now, "except for the days in the next three seasons"). Sutherland's character, Jack Bauer, has a superhuman sense of when something is wrong. He's like an anti-terrorist bloodhound. He can walk into a room where every other agent sees normalcy. Jack will stop and look around, with an angry quizzical look on his face, not unlike a dog when it enters a room where someone has peed three days before. "Watch out for that closet!!!" he'll yell, and (sure enough) three seconds later a large explosion rocks the room.

There's also a rather strong smelly sense of Big Brother throughout the show. If Jack needs to get into a building all he needs to do it call up the Counter Terrorism Unit on his handy cel phone (doesn't he ever run out of batteries with all of his usage?; mine would have died in episode five) and say "Michelle. Give the passcode combinataion to the office building garage at 1234 Wilshire Blvd." Within seconds he's got it.

I'll tell you. If the government were this organized and together in real life, I'd REALLY be scared.

So it's fantasy. I got it. (Perhaps it's George Bush's fantasy, I'm not sure). But shit gets taken care of on this show.

Contrast this with THE INTERPRETER, the remarkably predictable feature that took the box office by small rainstorm two weeks ago. Sure, it's more realistic than 24. Sean Penn (who is, by the way, fantastic in the film; I'd fall down on my knees to beg him to keep making movies if I really thought he was going to retire) spends a lot of time in a car, at one point, watching the rear lights of cars and trucks ahead of him in New York. Those red lights are pretty much as real as it gets.

But there's no sizzle or energy in this by-the-numbers remake of every sorry political thriller you've ever seen and some that you aren't sure if you've seen or if you've just imagined them. There is an absolutely bogus resolution to the film and a gaping plot hole that is so egregious that you end up screaming at people you don't even know next to you that you will absolutely never ever go to see a movie like this again. NOT EVEN IF THEY PAY ME!!! I SWEAR ON A STACK OF UTNE READERS!!

Phew. Glad I got that off my chest. I feel ten pounds lighter.

In any case, though there are adsurdities in 24's plot lines, they are rarely insulting to the audience. And, besides, it's not as much fun jumping up and down at home and screaming at the dog that you will absolutely never ever go to see a movie like this again. NOT EVEN IF THEY PAY ME!!! I SWEAR ON A STACK OF UTNE READERS!! Television just doesn't have the power to make large assholes of people who are watching it. Notice that I'm not talking about the people who become contestants on I MARRIED A BIG STUPID SPOUSE or the like. Just the people watching it. And, while everyone who is watching STUPID SPOUSE may be stupid, the only people who will ever know it are the families and the dog watching the program along with you.

Who ever coined the term "mass media" for television surely wasn't thinking of this at the time.

I Know I'm Not Supposed To Care

Baseball is the only sport that I ever really gave a damn about (I really
really tried with curling, I really did) and now the Yankees -- my one
and only Yankees -- are busy watching themselves circle the bottom of the
toilet. It's enough to make you give up sports altogether and go watch
HAROLD AND KUMAR one more time.

When I was growing up in New York City, there were two choices -- the
Yankees or the Marvelous Mets. The Yankees were The Dynasty. The Mets were
the lovable klutzes who had their own foibles and, like the simple cousin
who you go visit because "he'll really appreciate it darling." you'd go to
see them play because they didn't have the flavor that the Yanks, even then,
did.

In an odd way, it was the Bronx Bombers who were the underdogs in my Queens
neighborhood.

No wonder, then, that I rooted for the Yanks and fell asleep at Shea
Stadium.

You know the old saying that the best age of music is your teens. Well,
once bitten by the Yankee bug there was no way I could transfer my
allegiance to the Dodgers or Angels (no matter what the hell they're
calling themselves these days) when I moved out here fifteen years ago.

So, I've stuck with the Steinbrenner Yankees through thick and thin. I
braved the angry slings and arrows of baseball fans who rightly pointed out
that anyone could buy themselves a team, because I pointed out that
the Dodgers had tried but couldn't. I successfully stayed the course, even
when it was correctly pointed out to me that no one could run a team like
ol' George and get results (because he did). I even suffered through the
years where Joe Torre was treated as a God, and thrown into product
endorsements that it was clear his charisma-challenged personality should
have warned him against doing.

However, now it's too horrible, too grating. I don't want to be a rat
deserting a sinking limo here, but it's kind of like the Lakers this past
year. The absolute fun is gone. Not the fun of winning (though that also
went away) but the fun of playing. Now, I'm totally aware that baseball is
a business, just like filmmaking is a business. But it's also a love, just
like filmmaking. You need to have the Derek Jeter/Steve Soderbergh passion
enthusiasm. And it's just not there this year. I don't see it on the team
and I didn't see it in OCEAN'S TWELVE either.

Hmmmm, I seem to have wandered very far afield here, trapping myself in the
metaphor morass. Let me extricate myself.

Ah, there. Now I feel better.

In any case, business though it is, these guys used to like to play
together. This year it's like that episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE where
Jonathan Winters has to return from the dead in order to continue to fend
off the challengers to his title as top pool hustler. It's tough being the
Dynasty. Everyone always wants to pick you off. Maybe a few years off the
beaten track, without everyone assuming you're going to kick ass because
you're from the Yankees, will be the best thing for them.

Hell, I know it would work for me.

Guilty Pleasures

Sorry to all of you who thought that this post would be something interesting. Maybe now you'll learn what misleading headlines can do to and for you.

In any case, I went to see HITCHHIKERS' GUIDE TO THE GALAXY this afternoon with my daughter and thoroughly enjoyed it. Now, I say this with the utmost caution, because I understand that the film is a bit of a mess that is saved mostly by the twin facts of 1) an incredibly dry sense of English humor and, 2) being faithful to the spirit of the radio show and books upon which the film is based and which, to be absolutely frank, I am completely in love with.

I can understand how someone with no fondness for science fiction or super dry humor might find this film incomprehensible and, to quote a friend, "utterly fucking boring." But that's not how we saw it. Aside from a performance by Zooey Deschanel that made me wish that her role had been played by a formation of rocks, there's quite a wonderful spirit in the film. The brutal send-up of science fiction cliches, is made even more potent by the fact that this is a FILM and, therefore, can have a soundtrack reminiscent of every John Williams soundtrack ever recorded (which, ultimately, seems like one long soundtrack -- except for CATCH ME IF YOU CAN) and can have special effects that seem completely ripped off from every rip-off of STAR WARS every made.

There are moments in the film, in particular with the R2D2/Eeyore character voiced by Alan Rickman, that made me laugh out loud. And there are also very few moments in the film when I felt I needed to look at my watch, check my email or see if the people behind me were awake. And those are great accomplishments in a movie nowadays.

In short, if you've ever liked science fiction you might to take a gander at this movie.